He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
