My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
