They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
