guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
