they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
