Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We are all done wearing pants today
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
