I could have mohawked her pubes.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
