This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
