You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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