You can't motorboat a personality
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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