i just google imaged poop.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
