Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
