with your own penis?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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