Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
