So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
