you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
