i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
