Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
