I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
