I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
