Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
