i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
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