Your tits are I can't wait for
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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