she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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