I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
