Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
