I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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