Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
