so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
