**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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