the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
