i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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