Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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