Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
