Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
