he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
