I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
