I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
