its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
false alarm. still invincible.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
