i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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