my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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