Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
if i died would you start the facebook group?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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