he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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