Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
