tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
