So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
