The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
