could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
