why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
