he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
