I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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